DC has added to their line of MIMOBOT USB flash drives with a new Superman, Batman, Flash, and Bane model, but there are no Watchmen drives in sight.
This reporter is thinking that DC has really dropped the ball on this one. Following the celebrated raping of Alan Moore's creative masterpiece Watchmen with the Before Watchmen line of prequel comics and the subsequent announcement of Watchmen-branded toasters, fans have come to expect that any silly merchandising deal that DC makes will include products emblazoned with imagery from the iconic series. However, while the new flash drives are certainly attractive to anyone willing to pay 5 times the market value for a 2GB flash drive shaped like their favorite superhero or supervillain, the line failed to include a Watchmen version.
While at first we believed this might be due to an editorial oversight, we now realize that this is an intentional strategic move in DC's campaign to humiliate and degrade the renowned creator. If DC exploits Watchmen EVERY time they release a new product, it will become commonplace, and will lose the shock factor DC craves. Instead, by choosing only the most humiliating products to slap a Watchmen logo on, DC can watch the beleaguered genius flinch with every announcement, keeping him off balance until they can enact the final phase of their master plan, which we imagine involves the production of the mythical Watchmen Babies animated series.
We attempted to reach Moore for comment via email but electronic devices rarely function inside the powerful warlock's magickal field. Instead, we received the following comment from DC's glorious leader Dan Didio: "Ah, planet Druidia. And under that air shield, ten thousand years of fresh air. We must get through that air shield!"
The USB drives are available from mimoco.com, but the Bane drive is only available at San Diego Comic Con.
Written or Contributed by: Jude Terror