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Woman to Write Catwoman, Sales Expected to Drop Dramatically

Written by Jude Terror on Monday, July 02 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
Woman to Write Catwoman, Sales Expected to Drop Dramatically

Ann Nocenti is rumored to be taking over Catwoman with issue #13 in October, which will probably spell doom for the troubled title.

Catwoman in the Nu52 has been a supercharged sexual thriller for comics fanboys since its launch. There was a super hawt encounter with Batman in issue 1, and recently, Guillem March's Zero Issue cover featuring an impossibly contorted (read: super sexy) Catwoman got virginal fanboys whipped up into a frothy lather as well. But DC may be taking things too far, bringing on an actual female to write the book, if rumors started by tabloid journalist and alleged illegal cockfighter Rich Johnston are true.

Comics fanboys, traditionally an awkward and shameful lot, are not particularly skilled at dealing with members of the opposite sex. While a cartoon sex object written and drawn by men seems to hit a sweet spot in fanboy titilation, putting an actual female voice behind the character might take things a step too far. Just knowing they are reading the words of a real woman, written, sort of, just for them, may cause fanboys to break out in flop sweat (more than usual) and run screaming from their basements in terror.

"A w-w-w-woman y-yy-you s-say?" asked Harold "Nerdyboy" Scratcherson, a typical comic book fan. "I-I-i-i- d-d-don... I-i- gotta g-g-go!" He then walked briskly out of the room, an impressive physical feat for someone of his stature. Ruford Cringebottom, a 34th level Dark Elf on WoW, was quoted as saying, "If I want to get to know a real woman, I can always just go upstairs and talk to my mom."

Worse still, Nocenti, a talented writer, may be inclined to turn Catwoman into an actual character, rather than simply masturbation fodder for sexless thirty-somethings. A move like this could prove to be the worst idea this side of a Halle Berry movie sequel, and would likely lead to the book's cancellation, or worse, full takeover of writing and art duties by Rob Liefeld.

It is thought that this move was done solely to spite self-righteous fans who have targeted the title since its inception in September.  AOL stock plummeted a quarter of a point upon investors hearing the news, in part because AOL subsidiary ComicsAlliance will no longer have an easy target to rail its weekly feminist rants against.

Source: Bleeding Cool
Written or Contributed by: Jude Terror

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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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