In what seems like a natural progression for the comic book industry, Image Comics is apparently moving into the prostitution business.
Comic books and prostitutes have a very obvious crossover audience, something which has been exploited with overtly sexualized female characters and cheesecake artwork for decades. That being said, The Outhouse is surprised that it took this long for a company to make the leap into full-blown prostitution, but it seems Image Comics will be the first to break the barrier, as their new teaser, "IMAGE COMICS WANTS YOU TO BUY SEX," seems to imply.
"Prostitution is the world's oldest profession and has even been practiced by monkeys and dolphins in social experiments," said Robert Kirkman in a made-up quote. "I have performed many of these experiments myself, and they were really arousing. Mmmmmm..."
"DC has been whoring out the work of respected creator Alan Moore for years now, and we didn't want to miss out on an exciting opportunity to take things to the next level," said Erik Larsen on Twatter, a Twitter-like web platform that we made up just like this conversation. "Though some Image creators can make a fortune off of licensing their properties like Robert Kirkman has done with the Walking Dead, many indie creators struggle to get by, and as a result are fairly skilled at performing sexual favors."
When asked about the impending sale of flesh, Jim Valentino was not heard by this reporter to say, "hey, we are already known for publishing books like Avengelyne and Lorna: Relic Hunter. In comparison, this is really not as bad."
AOL stock rose with the release of the teaser, as relief from investors spread upon learning that ComicsAlliance, an AOL subsidiary, will have something to write about this afternoon. Remember, prostitution is not a laughing matter. We shouldn't joke about it. We shouldn't laugh about it.
A message included with the teaser advertises a big announcement at San Diego Comic Con on July 14 at 2PM in Room 25ABC. Bring your own towel.
Source: Press Release
Written or Contributed by: Jude Terror