The Office scribes Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky are out, and an as-yet-unrevealed new team is in, according to disgraced actor Dan Aykroyd.
Another chapter has been written in the continuing saga of Ghostbusters 3. At a liquor store event in New York promoting his vodka line, Crystal Head Vodka, something we swear we are not making up, Aykroyd told NBC news, "We've got a new writing staff working on it now. It's got to be prefect. That's the whole thing. There's no point in doing it unless it's perfect. So that's what we're up to now."
This viewpoint is contrary to the traditionally accepted attitude toward movies, which is "eh, fuck it, it's good enough." Aykroyd, now 60, has been trying to get Ghostbusters 3 made for some time, but Bill Murray, the Alan Moore of movies, has been toying with Akroyd and fans, switching between official stances of "I'll do it," "I won't do it," and "Cuckoo! Cuckoo!"
Murray is notoriously difficult to attach to a movie, as he will not employ an agent and apparently has a 900 number people call and leave a message at if they want to hire him, and he will maybe call them back if he feels like it. No, we're not making that up.
This strategy has backfired for Murray in the past, as he reportedly made the Garfield movie while under the impression it was being directed by the Coen brothers.
Murray is currently starring in the Wes Anderson film Moonrise Kingdom, in theaters now. Aykroyd is, as mentioned above, appearing at liquor stores to sell vodka. Rick Moranis died of a drug overdose over ten years ago. (Editor's Note: No he didn't. He retired in 1997.) No one has heard from the black dude since 1992. (Editor's Note: Ernie Hudson has had a terrific career. He was on Oz.) Harold Ramis became fat after eating Annie Potts. (Editor's Note: We can actually neither confirm nor deny this one.) Sigourney Weaver resides in a cryogenic freezing chamber in James Cameron's submarine, The Nautilus. (Editor's Note: There is no evidence to back this up, but it is plausible.) Slimer is now the host of the popular Rush Limbaugh conservative radio talk show. (Editor's Note: This one is actually true.)
Written or Contributed by: Jude Terror