By arguing on AICN yesterday, Peter David failed to match his personal record of three days without engaging in a shouting match with message board commenters.
Two unsurprising events occurred today: PAD got into an argument with message board posters and Ain't It Cool News failed to upgrade their 1990s "Mr. T Ate My Balls" website design. AICN, possibly the only site that continues to use geocities web software, posted an article about entertainment news. PAD took exception to the comments and started arguing in the comments section of the article, though it is difficult to tell exactly how angry he was because all of the text on the site is in boldface font, and therefore appears to be "yelling." Knowing PAD, however, who once dragged a Newsarama poster's family into an argument, it was probably pretty nasty. We reached out to AICN for comment on the situation, but it turns out they had let their Compuserve supscription run out and therefore could not respond to their email.
Tomorrow in the dog bites man news department, we hope to bring you a story about Bleeding Cool's Rich Johnston pointing out that one of his rumors was right, or Marvel EDitor Stephen Wacker getting very angry on his Formspring. For complete details on the events on AICN, plug in your 1200 Baud modem and dial up their website. In the meantime, here are some quotes and a rough timeline we managed to pull from the using windows terminal and a telnet connection:
Jul 02, 2012 6:14:48 PM CDT - AICN posts an article about the new M. Night Shamalamalama movie After Earth, for which Peter David is writing the prequel novel.
Jul 02, 2012 6:14:52 PM CDT - After a series of "FIRST!!!11" posts in the comments section, AICN commenters began ripping Shyamalan and his movies a well-deserved new asshole.
Jul 02, 2012 7:50:02 PM CDT - Peter David, who went on to post about 30 comments in this thread, took issue with complaints about the names of characters in the film, and posted the following:
Yeah. What stupid names. Why not quality names like...
Han Solo. (Napoleon Solo's brother?)
Obi Wan Kenobi (WTF?)
Princess Leia (Lay ya! Get it? Lay ya!)
And Kara Thrace? Starbuck? Named after the coffee place? That's freaking hilarious!
And Wesley Crusher? Geordi LaForge? These are hero names?
Oh, and how about these howlers: Rick Dekard. Roy Batty. Hannibal CHEW, for God's sake?
And oh my God,have you seen some of the other crap names attached to science fiction films? Snake Plisskin? Buckaroo Banzai? Abulurd Harkonnen. Meeklo Braca. Jesus Christ, can't ANYONE name characters anymore?
It just...it makes no sense. How could it possibly be that a thousand years hence, people have names that aren't used now? It's almost like...I don't know...it's another time. Because of course in the 21st century, we're using all the same names that were popular a hundred, two hundred years ago. Baby names haven't changed one bit. Why, I'm sure the kindergartens are overflowing with kids named Philomena, Henrietta, Mildred, Bertram, Edmund, and Meriwether.
Meanwhile "Madison" was non-existent as a girl's name until after "Splash" came out; by 2001 it was the second most popular girl's name in the United States.
And yes, I'm on the panel, and yes, I'm working on the project, and yes, I know both Will and Jaden, and they're great guys (and Willow and Jada are sweet as well) so obviously I'm biased.
None of which changes the fact that carping about the names of people a thousand years in the future in a science fiction film is idiotic.
If you want to have an informed opinion and you're at the convention, come by the panel. 10 AM, Saturday. Room 6. You can hear from the scriptwriter, and Bob Greenberger, Mike Friedman and I can tell you how we developed a 300 page bible charting every aspect, every detail of the world of After Earth. How this will be THE most cohesive and thought out SF universe since Joe Straczynski mapped out B5.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back and reread some of the talk back postings predicting that Jaden's "Karate Kid" was going to bomb at the box office.
(PAD signs all his posts PAD, despite the fact that even AICN's archaic website is capable of displaying who posted a comment.)
Jul 02, 2012 7:55:48 PM CDT - AICN commenters seized the opportunity to mock David and raise his ire, with such comments as:
Jul 02, 2012 8:00:06 PM CDT
"Peter David?" LOLLOLLOL
by queefer sutherland
Two first names? Who the fuck thought this up? Obviously somebody with absolutely no creativity.
Jul 02, 2012 8:03:21 PM CDT
I am surprised, though, that anyone from the film would bother posting on AICN...
This is the most hardened bunch of malcontents I've ever seen. The comments, though, are the best entertainment I've ever had while eating Cornflakes.
As a person involved in the process, you have a tremendous amount invested in seeing it succeed. We, on the other hand, have no relationship with the stars nor do we get to interact with them in any meaningful way. At best, we get the TMZ treatment, which is about as useful as reading the labels on Smith's discarded hair dye bottles.
As an outsider, it's hard to appreciate the rampant nepotism in Hollywood of which the Smiths are most certainly guilty. Yes, Karate Kid did quite well, but as any movie is an ensemble it's hard to argue that another child might have done just as well with the part, but without the benefit of mommy and daddy's production company.
As far as Shalyman goes, we're just tired of the hype. I'm just as tired of the hype for J.J. Abrams's work, as I find he's not "the next Spielberg" that he so desperately wants to be. (Remember, Shalyman was compared to The Beard not that long ago.)
Yeah, we're a cynical bunch but that name and the obvious nepotism are just stones in at least my craw. I used to love Smith's movies, but I'm in a period of serious, serious burnout at both his and his family's overexposure. There is, in fact, such a thing as too much of a good thing.
Jul 02, 2012 8:07:46 PM CDT
Peter David is fat
PAD went on to take the bait and make another long post deriding classic cinema masterpieces in defense of... well, he denies defending Shyamalan, so there is really no reason for any of this.
The argument continued nonsensically from this point forward, with PAD making a total of 33 posts in the course of 72 straight hours. You can read the rest yourself if you've got good eyesight.
Written or Contributed by: Jude Terror