Etan Cohen has been tapped as the new writer for the long-awaited Ghostbusters 3, but will his script meet the ridiculous expectations of Bill Murray?
Etan Cohen wrote Men in Black 3 and co-wrote Tropic Thunder, so fans of the Ghostbusters franchise may be tempted to feel hopeful that Ghostbusters 3, which has been in development since the 1990s. Unfortunately, the script must still meet the approval of Bill Murray, who has become somewhat of an eccentric recluse since the days when he made funny movies that people watched. The approval process is long and arduous, and has resulted in the death of anywhere from two to thirty-seven proposed scripts so far.
Once Cohen has completed the script, it will need to be dropped inconspicuously in a trash bin on a street corner in Walla Walla, Washington, where it will be picked up by a nervous courier in a trenchcoat and dark sunglasses. The script will be transported on an old-timey two-man-bicycle to a secret compound in an unspecified location in the Nevada desert, where it will need to pass a series of rigorous physical tests for Murray's amusement inside a full-scale recreation of the obstacle course from Nickelodeon's popular 1980s gameshow Double Dare. If the script survives the obstacle course, it will be doused in laudanum and forced to answer a series of riddles. If it passes that test, it will have to defeat Murray in a game of Tiger Woods Golf on X-Box 360 before finally being forced to sit through Lost in Translation without falling asleep.
Finally, once all of the trials have been completed, Murray will either tear it up and send Dan Aykroyd a letter calling him fat, or will decide to do the film, and then change his mind two months later.
So don't get your hopes up.
Written or Contributed by: Jude Terror