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Marvel and Russell Athletics Plan to Replace College Mascots

Written by ThanosCopter on Wednesday, July 11 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
Marvel and Russell Athletics Plan to Replace College Mascots

Marvel is teaming up with various NCAA schools to make money!

Source: ESPN

ESPN reported that Marvel and Russell Athletic would be teaming up to release a new line of sports clothing, featuring various superheroes in place of school's iconic mascots.  The apperal program will be featured at 200 schools and will probably appeal to the millions of half-blind lemmings who fanatically follow college football as if their lives depend on it. In a fictional statement, Marvel explained that characters such as Rocket Raccoon, the Hulk and Wolverine were more suitable representations of college sports teams than Sammy the Banana Slug, Brutus Buckeye or Tommy Trojan. 

While ESPN was sparse on details (probably because it was too busy reporting that Tim Tebow ate a sandwich or that Kevin Durant's heart breaks a little every time he sees LeBron James during USA Basketball's practice sessions), the Outhouse was able to obtain a look at some of the initial designs.  

Marvel and Russell spent many hours matching up their characters with the superheroes they felt best appealed to sports fans.  Southern schools such as Ole Miss, LSU and Florida typically had bulky, muscular characters such as Namor, the Hulk or Tim Tebow in a speedo featured on their shirts while midwestern schools were paired up with ethically ambiguous and scandal tainted characters such as the Punisher, Captain America and Doctor Doom. Boise State's apperal featured Hawkeye, a character who always whines about not being given his due. 

Fan reaction was generally positive towards the new clothing line.  "These are, I say, these are the nicest duds I've ever seen," said Mississipi resident Foghorn Leghorn.  "I think I'll buy one of all of them and then go back to my online sports forum to make fun of them Northerners and their inferior college sports teams."

If you enjoy college sports and want to read more, be sure to check out SWRT, written by Outhouse poster, legal expert and accurate judge of humor Nacireman.

Written or Contributed by: ThanosCopter

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About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.


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