Monday, December 11, 2017 • Morning Edition • "We go in so you don't have to."

TMNT Creator Kevin Eastman Has Public Mental Breakdown

Written by Jude Terror on Tuesday, July 17 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
TMNT Creator Kevin Eastman Has Public Mental Breakdown

Friends, family, and internet fanboys are likely very concerned after hearing of shocking remarks made by Eastman at San Diego Comic Con.

Source: MTV

In an interview with MTV, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles co-creator Kevin Eastman referred to the upcoming Michael Bay TMNT movie as "easily the best Turtles movie yet." Bay's Turtles, which has thus far only been loosely described in interviews, is widely known to be a complete abomination that rapes the childhoods of anyone who has ever read TMNT comics, watched a TMNT cartoon, played with TMNT toys, or owned a pet turtle. The Bay adaptation has been confirmed to change the core concept of the characters from "turtles who are mutated into humanoid teenagers and learn ninjitsu" into "turtles who are aliens and blow stuff up spectacularly."

The clearly deranged and disoriented Eastman went on to describe the movie's "greatness," saying, "we're talking Raid: Redemption-style fight scenes; we're talking about epic Rise of the Planet of the Apes sort of effects." The Outhouse can only presume that Eastman, traumatized by Bay's adaptation, has created a fantasy world in which the movie isn't a horrendous affront against all things good and decent. Much like events in the movie Sucker Punch, Eastman followed up his remarks by shooting zombie Nazis in the head while wearing a corset.

In addition to the disturbing comments above, Eastman denied that Paramount's decision to push the movie back from a December 2013 release to May 2014 had anything to do with the studio's unhappiness with the film, instead claiming that the release was meant to coincide with the Turtles' 30th anniversary, which may indicate that, in addition to being completely insane, the legendary creator may also be a pathological liar.

When asked for a comment, Bay pulled out a condom, unbuckled his pants, and leered menacingly at this reporter's childhood, forcing me to flee in terror. The Outhouse will keep Eastman and his family in its thoughts over the coming days, and we sincerely hope that Eastman is able to get the help the needs, and that high-ranking government officials recognize the devastating potential of Bay's TMNT film and spirit it away to a secret government weapons research facility and out of the public's eyes before it's too late.

Written or Contributed by: Jude Terror

Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

More articles from Jude Terror
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!