AVX: The Phoenix Claims its First Victim!
- Written by ThanosCopter on Wednesday, May 16 2012 and posted in News and Satire
The Marvel series claims its first victim! Find out who inside!
Warning: this article contains snark, sarcasm and spoilers.
The Phoenix has claimed its first Earth victim in Avengers vs. X-Men #4. While the character might not have been the most well-known Marvel property, its death is almost sure to shock and offend. Check it out below.
That's right: the first victim of Avengers vs. X-Men is a polar bear, killed by Wolverine in retaliation for getting kicked out of a plane by Captain America. Polar bears are always the first to go, whether its by global warming or in-fighting caused by the imminent arrival of a cosmic entity who may or may not destroy the planet.
No word on how the polar bear ended up on the opposite hemisphere (polar bears are found in the Arctic Circle, not the Antarctic Circle), but who cares, amirite? As long as we get awesome stuff like Wolverine gutting an innocent, endangered animal, who cares about "facts" or "research"?
[Editor's Note: The Outhouse, like most respectable news sites, refuses to recognize the existance of aliens, even fictional ones. So kindly STFU, Chap :P ]
Written or Contributed by: ThanosCopter
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About the Author - ThanosCopter
ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
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