The Outhouse would like to join CBR on their 48 foot yacht at San Diego Comic Con. Please?
ComicBookResources announced today that they would be bringing a brand new 48 foot yacht to San Diego Comic Con with which to woo comic book creators and even real celebrities to giving up juicy comic book and geek culture gossip, and frankly, The Outhouse thinks they owe it to us to let us come along for the ride.
I mean, let's face it, a lesser website might be kind of... jealous of this sort of thing. If this reporter was some kind of hater, he'd probably be writing an article about how comic book journalism is an incestuous cesspool of favoritism and fluff pieces, where giant mega-sites verbally fellate comics publishers and, in return, receive exclusive access to announcements and talent interviews, all the while chuckling with his buddies on Skype about it. But this reporter didn't do that.
Why? Because the Outhouse isn't like that. We're totally cool with you, CBR. We think it's really sweet that you've already "lined up major exclusives from Marvel Comics, DC Comics and every major publisher, video game company, television network and film studio." You deserve it guys. So please, won't you let us come on your boat?
The Outhouse is sending three reporters to San Diego Comic Con, and one of them is even a girl (hands off, she's ours!). We had planned to set up a booth behind the convention center with a cooler full of lukewarm bud light where Outhouse contributor Xaraan (he's not the girl) would give handjobs to creators in exchange for interviews, but how much more awesome would it be to hang out on the CBR boat instead? We'll behave ourselves, we promise. Just let us come on your boat.
Seriously, we're not jealous at all. We'd love to suckle at your corporate teat and gobble the table scraps of exclusive interviews and breaking news from your website (in fact, we will likely do this regardless). We won't even try to roofie Axel Alonso and take advantage of him. And we've got a sweet connection for ludes. Just sayin'. Let us on your boat.
We'll bring the beer. The handjobs are totally optional. What do you say, CBR? BFF?
Source: Our Besties at CBR
Written or Contributed by: Jude Terror