Monday, March 30, 2015 • Midnight Edition • "At least we're not Newsarama!"

Satire

Did you bother to look at the tags before assuming this crazy story was straight news?
United States Fighting ISIS By Airdropping Comics Into Syria

United States Fighting ISIS By Airdropping Comics Into Syria

How will Marvel and DC help fight the war on terrorism?!

EXXXCLUSIVE: The Real

EXXXCLUSIVE: The Real "Secret" Behind Marvel's "Secret Wars" Reboot Revealed!

What could cause Marvel to reboot it's universe just a few years after DC rebooted theirs? The answer may not shock you!

Man Upset When Restaurant

Man Upset When Restaurant "Censors" Sandwich

The man blamed "social justice warriors" and "fascism" when a local restaurant removed his favorite sandwich from the menu.

EXXXCLUSIVE: DC Announces

EXXXCLUSIVE: DC Announces "Tone Deaf Variants Month" for July

The company will embrace the concept of producing variant covers that offend the target audience of its comics.

San Diego Comic Con Parking to Be Decided by Deadly Battle Royale

San Diego Comic Con Parking to Be Decided by Deadly Battle Royale

Congoers will fight to the death for the chance to park at the biggest comics and pop culture event of the year.

Obsessed George Lucas Personally

Obsessed George Lucas Personally "Special Editioning" Every Copy of Marvel's Star Wars Comics

The Star Wars creator purchased every copy from Midtown comics and has set to work editing them with white-out and crayons.

Fanboy Laments: Comic Con Not About The Movies Anymore

Fanboy Laments: Comic Con Not About The Movies Anymore

With the lack of a Marvel Studios presence at SDCC this year, some fear Comic Con may be losing sight of its original purpose.

Man Fully Intends to Break World Record for Milk Dud Consumption at AMC's 24+ Hour Marvel Movie Marathon for Avengers: Age of Ultron

Man Fully Intends to Break World Record for Milk Dud Consumption at AMC's 24+ Hour Marvel Movie Marathon for Avengers: Age of Ultron

The man will try to consume more than 40,000 of the popular candies while watching every Marvel Studios film in chronological order.

Breaking: Stolen White Superhero Characters Surface in Seedy Local Pawn Shop

Breaking: Stolen White Superhero Characters Surface in Seedy Local Pawn Shop

The owner is unsure whether he will give the characters back or attempt to sell them on eBay for a modest profit.

To Make Video Go Viral, ISIL Militants Destroy Sacred, Color-Changing Cultural Artifact While Riding Llamas

To Make Video Go Viral, ISIL Militants Destroy Sacred, Color-Changing Cultural Artifact While Riding Llamas

In a post net-neutrality world, you have to do everything you can to stay on top of the trends.

Man Dumps Fiance on Valentines Day Because She Wasn't Excited Enough About Marvel Regaining Spider-Man Movie Rights

Man Dumps Fiance on Valentines Day Because She Wasn't Excited Enough About Marvel Regaining Spider-Man Movie Rights

The breakup marked the third year in a row that Valentines day brought tragedy to the Shea family in Arkansas.

Lonely Fan Reading Article on Satirical Comic Book Website on Valentines Day

Lonely Fan Reading Article on Satirical Comic Book Website on Valentines Day

The fan reportedly had "nothing better to do today."

REPORT: George RR Martin Evilly Laughs for Full Two Minutes At Panera

REPORT: George RR Martin Evilly Laughs for Full Two Minutes At Panera

An employee had reportedly told the popular fantasy writer who his favorite Game of Thrones character was.

BREAKING: Marvel Receives Permission to Use Spider-Man Characters in Agents of SHIELD, But Only the Crappy Ones and Only One Per Season

BREAKING: Marvel Receives Permission to Use Spider-Man Characters in Agents of SHIELD, But Only the Crappy Ones and Only One Per Season

Soon Hypno-Hustler, the Mindworm and the dude who molested Peter as a kid will make their way to Agents of SHIELD.

Top Five Long Shot Possibilities for Marvel's Next Big Announcement on The View Tomorrow

Top Five Long Shot Possibilities for Marvel's Next Big Announcement on The View Tomorrow

The company plans to make a "forceful" announcement on the daytime talk show, but what if they've got something unexpected in mind?!

Exclusive: First Good Look at Powered Up Human Torch in Fantastic Four Reboot Revealed During Super Bowl Halftime Show

Exclusive: First Good Look at Powered Up Human Torch in Fantastic Four Reboot Revealed During Super Bowl Halftime Show

The first look at Michael B. Jordan after "flaming on" is not what most fans were expecting.

BREAKING: Punxsutawney Phil Sees Shadow, Means Six More Years 'Til Release of

BREAKING: Punxsutawney Phil Sees Shadow, Means Six More Years 'Til Release of "Winds of Winter"

The groundhog confirmed that George R. R. Martin's next book won't be released until 2021.



Concerned Brony Upset at Improper Body Proportions on My Little Pony Inflatable Sex Doll

Concerned Brony Upset at Improper Body Proportions on My Little Pony Inflatable Sex Doll

The pony-loving man is speaking out against the exploitation of his beloved cartoon characters.

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