Citizens of Chicago: go watch this episode first. I know the broadcast was pre-empted by the Bulls game. That’s what you get for having a decent basketball team.
In the opening of “Captives”, we are all reminded that Kevin Tran, though dead, will forever be in advanced placement in our hearts. And also that Dean has major co-dependency issues. This is a perfect time for their bunker to get a case of the Caspers... or actually the dead Kevins. Tragic, yes, but their attempts to reach his spirit do lead to Dean confessing to a coffeemaker so I’m gonna call this a win.
With the appearance of Kevin’s spirit, we finally find out what has been happening to all the people who have died since the Fall. Answer: they're stuck in the Veil between life and death, and it’s getting crowded. Oh, Kevin. You don't deserve any of this. I weep for you. Kevin contacted the boys to make one request: for the boys to find his mom. According to Candy, the spirit of a Congressman’s mistress, Mrs. Tran is somewhere in Wichita. Cue the road trip to Kansas! At least it’s not Lawrence.
As the boys prepare to summon Candy, Dean reveals that he brought along the coffeemaker. It's the best in demon relations since the Ouija board! They also brought a radio, which is slightly more useful. Candy speaks through the radio and reveals that she was held captive in a storage locker, along with Mrs. Tran, by Crowley and his minions. Candy tried to escape and died in her attempt. Sam and Dean visit the three nearby storage units, which are all, strangely enough, staffed by pasty men with thick glasses. At the third, the boys split up to look at the two sets of units owned by D. Webster. Sam finds a battered Mrs. Tran in one of them – cue the excitement that she is alive, and the feels that she is about to learn her brilliant son is dead. The corrugated door closes on Sam as he tries to free Mrs. Tran – it's being controlled. By a phone. In a pair of pasty white hands. Because of course the attendants are on the take for Crowley. Said attendants also hits Dean over the head with a beatin' stick. Nice read, Velma.
As they attempt to escape, Mrs. Tran reminds us once more of how fierce she is. She knows what wire to cut thanks to helping Kevin with his engineering club work, and steels her resolve to escape once Sam (gently) tries to tell her Kevin is gone. Meanwhile, the attendant demon bitches to Dean about his shitty “internship” (and does a great Crowley impression in the process) and learns that Dean is best buds with Crowley now. The attendant loses his temper and decides to kill Dean (he hasn't been allowed to kill in so long – so who killed Candy?), but big bro is saved at the last minute by Moose. The boys let Mrs. Tran do the honors of killing the demon... god she's so badass. I wanna be her when I grow up.
Back at the bunker, Mrs. Tran takes Kevin's dad's ring from his effects. She says that if Kevin's soul is bound to anything in the world, it's that ring. Even though her son is dead, Mrs. Tran wants to keep him close by. As he leaves, Kevin asks the boys to lay their disagreements aside. They promise, but once Kevin and Mrs. Tran depart Sam goes right back to avoiding his brother. DRAMA.
Meanwhile, Cas is chasing down leads with the angels. He assaults a blinky angel leaving another angel's funeral, and finds out that Bartholomew is up to his old tricks of world domination and angel slaughter. He is snagged by two of Bartholomew's minions as he leaves the funeral. As another blonde-haired, blue-eyed person, I feel bad for judging Bartholomew's vessel for being too aggressively Aryan. But I just don't trust that smarmy smile when he greets Cas. Ol' Bart feels like reminiscing about past battles, promotions due to war, and Barty's love of torture. In a vaguely Nazi-ish move, Bart says he didn't want to torture his captives; he was just following orders (just like the demon who was keeping Mrs. Tran!). But now, he's giving them.
Bart takes Cas on the tour and the recruitment speech: join with me to find Metatron and put us all back in heaven. Cas, being the good creature he is, considers helping. The resources at Bart's disposal are immense – he has already been tracking the three times Metatron has been on Earth. Cas wonders why Bart hasn't tried to lure him out yet – freaking duh! - and Bart crows over Cas's cleverness like it's the most original thing ever. The bro-out is cut short when Bart's minions drag in the angel from the funeral.
Cas refuses to participate in the torture session and begs Bart to free his captive – Bart is a dick and kills the angel instead. Bart and Cas fight over the value of obedience versus free thought, and Cas is the only one to come out of it alive. Some of the angels who followed Bart approach Cas at Rebecca's grave and pledge their allegiance – will Cas have to be the reluctant leader yet again? And how exactly will he be able to show the angels that there is a better way to live, one that is not so eerily similar to the demons they supposedly hate?
As a side note: Jared Padalecki's chest is distractingly large. Is he auditioning for superhero movies or something?
NEXT WEEK: GHOSTFACERS. AHHHHHH!!!
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About the Author - The Resident
The Resident seems pretty ok: we have no idea having never met him (her?). Um, S/He likes TV and walks in the sand. The Outhouse is pretty sure that Her/His twitter handle is @sundrops33. Why do we keep around a staff member we cannot identify? Those lovely unique hits her/his reviews of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic brings us. The Resident has done more to generate ad revenue than all other writers combined, totaling over $12 in the year s/he’s been writing for us. Keep up the good work!
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