Wednesday, May 23, 2018 • Morning Edition • "Trash eaters."

Supernatural: "Blade Runners"

Written by The Resident on Wednesday, March 19 2014 and posted in Reviews


No Harrison Ford references = FAIL

Source: Supernatural!

I’m about 99% sure that CW is trying to kill ‘Supernatural’, or that the last few episodes have been the desperate cries of a child trying to get its parent’s attention. Eric Kripke, original creator and mastermind of the show, is the parent in this metaphor. Between the awkward opening and the presence of Snookie (which was blessedly brief), this ep was mostly a mess until the last third. Let’s tear it apart with love, shall we?

“Blade Runners” opens up with Crowley strung out on human blood while “Not Moose” (aka Dean) keeps trying to call him. Crowley is supplied with blood by Lola, a demon who is secretly working for Abbadon. It works until Lola is ratted out to Crowley by another low-life demon and he kills her. Realizing what an enormous mess he’s made, Crowley contacts the Winchesters and they stage an intervention.

I should mention that in the middle of all this the boys summon a crossroads demon and she shows up with Snookie as her meatsuit. Topical! Relevant! PAINFUL. Girlfriend couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag.

The boys admonish Crowley for screwing around when he should have been searching for the First Blade – a search in which he has a vested interest, seeing as it will knock off his main rival for the Throne of Hell. He reveals that he has managed to trace the blade to the National Institute of Antiquities, which is strangely in Kansas City. (A quick search of the interwebs reveals that this is, thankfully, a fictional place). Abbadon seemingly beats them to it, sending minions to possess the security guards, but the curator (a cougar with her eye on Dean) reveals that she sold the blade to a private collector.

Moose and Squirrel stay in suit-mode (drink!) to meet with the intermediary for the mysterious collector, who is less than forthcoming. Crowley possesses the intermediary to gather information, but they can’t quite get everything they need. The only name they have, Albert Magnus, is the alias used by Men of Letters when they want to go underground. All the active Men of Letters are deceased, but Crowley tells them of rumors of a defrocked member who might still be alive. After conveniently unearthing a box on disgraced members, they go in search of Cuthbert St. Clair (who wins the prize for most pretentious American name ever – the Brits are in a class of their own).

Back in the day, St. Clair created the wardings that keep the Bunker invisible to supernatural eyes and ears. It makes sense, then, that he’s been living in an invisible house for the last fifty-some-odd years. Without aging. While collecting supernatural creatures for his zoo. Okay, so maybe St. Clair is around the twist a little bit. He does, however, have the First Blade. When Dean reveals that he has the mark of Cain, St. Clair sees it as the perfect opportunity to complete his “collection”. He uses magic to send Sam away and keep Dean relatively docile.

Sam works feverishly to figure out a way to rescue Dean, while Crowley does his best to be helpful and ingratiate himself. He’s been trying to do that all episode, strangely enough. Sam isn’t buying it, but does use Crowley to collect the ingredients necessary to reveal the portal to St. Clair’s house. Once inside, Sam manages to get himself captured by St. Clair. Crowley comes to the rescue by freeing Dean and placing the First Blade in his hand. With the Blade’s magic active, he kills St. Clair. The Blade does something to Dean while he’s holding it – perhaps fills him with murderous, fratricidal rage? – and it takes Sam’s puppy dog eyes to get Dean to drop it. How’s that whole “let’s be professional and not brothers” thing working out for you, boys?

While the boys were in the house, Abbadon’s minions trash the Impala. They don’t find much of value – the wardings on the trunk are effective – but they do key Dean’s car with Enochian. The message is for Crowley from Abbadon, which for some reason makes Sam think they should kill Crowley. He was only useful until they found the First Blade… which they have now. Crowley, ever a creature of self-preservation, realizes now would be the most prudent time to change the balance of power in his working relationship with the Winchesters. He holds the blade hostage until such time as the boys can locate Abbadon, and also seems rather upset that he couldn’t get Sam to trust him. Not because it was an integral part of his plan, or whatever, but because he probably longs for that connection to humanity that he got from shooting up human blood.

Next week: More Winchester family secrets are revealed! Abbadon returns! Things improve? We hope.


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About the Author - The Resident

The Resident seems pretty ok: we have no idea having never met him (her?).  Um, S/He likes TV and walks in the sand.  The Outhouse is pretty sure that Her/His twitter handle is @sundrops33.  Why do we keep around a staff member we cannot identify? Those lovely unique hits her/his  reviews of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic brings us.  The Resident has done more to generate ad revenue than all other writers combined, totaling over $12 in the year s/he’s been writing for us.  Keep up the good work!


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