Sunday, August 2, 2015 • Afternoon Edition • "We Wipe Last. Not Before."

El Presidente

El Presidente gave up his position as President and Prime Minister of Cuba, as well as First Secretary of Cuba's Communist Party, in 2008 in order to concentrate on his true love: Hollywood gossip reporting. Forming the rumor website Cubano Review, El Presidente built a name for himself based on over THREE DOZEN industry credited trade scoops. Unfortunately, capitalist American trade embargoes have rendered CubanoReview.com unreachable from within the United States, forcing El Presidente to syndicate his articles to The Outhouse, which flies under the radar of the American oligarchy thanks to most leaders assuming it is a scat porn site, which, to be fair, is basically true.

 


Christian Bale Reportedly Offered $100 Billion Dollars, Island Nation and Space Station to Reprise Batman Role

Christian Bale Reportedly Offered $100 Billion Dollars, Island Nation and Space Station to Reprise Batman Role

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on August 10, 2013

El Presidente reports on the latest batch of incredulous Christian Bale Batman rumors.

Bat!@#$ Crazy Batman Casting Rumors - Brolin, Butler, Caviezel!

Bat!@#$ Crazy Batman Casting Rumors - Brolin, Butler, Caviezel!

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on August 2, 2013

Rumor sites are churning out Superman vs. Batman casting rumors like nuts! Frank Miller! Josh Brolin! Gerard Butler! JGL in a fake beard!

What Does Frank Miller Have to Do With the Superman vs. Batman Movie?!

What Does Frank Miller Have to Do With the Superman vs. Batman Movie?!

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on August 1, 2013

What are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamn Batman.

Zac Efron and Ryan Gosling Rumored for Star Wars Episode 7

Zac Efron and Ryan Gosling Rumored for Star Wars Episode 7

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on July 25, 2013

Keep your panties on, ladies. It's only a rumor at this stage.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Actually Rumored to Play Doctor Strange

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Actually Rumored to Play Doctor Strange

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on July 15, 2013

We're really not making it up this time!!!

Rumor: Guardians of the Galaxy Roles Maybe Confirmed For Sure

Rumor: Guardians of the Galaxy Roles Maybe Confirmed For Sure

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on July 8, 2013

We can definitely tell you that we're pretty sure these rumors are completely true.

Not Exclusive! Major Doctor Strange Plot Details REVEALED!

Not Exclusive! Major Doctor Strange Plot Details REVEALED!

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on June 25, 2013

The Hollywood rumor site Latino-Review.com claims to have plot details for the upcoming Doctor Strange movie!

Will Smith Won't Return for Independence Day Sequel

Will Smith Won't Return for Independence Day Sequel

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on June 24, 2013

The actor is too big a name with too high a price tag to appear in the sequel to the popular action film.

Rumor: Colm Feore to Play Vulture in Amazing Spider-Man 2

Rumor: Colm Feore to Play Vulture in Amazing Spider-Man 2

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on June 10, 2013

The Canadian actor is rumored to be playing classic Spider-Man villain The Vulture in the upcoming Amazing Spider-Man sequel.

Community Stars Chevy Chase and Gillian Jacobs Reunite for Hot Tub Time Machine 2

Community Stars Chevy Chase and Gillian Jacobs Reunite for Hot Tub Time Machine 2

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on June 7, 2013

Chase and Jacobs join Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, Clark Duke, and Adam Scott in the cast of the sequel to Hot Tub Time Machine.

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