Monday, November 24, 2014 • Midnight Edition • "That smell was here before we went in."

El Presidente

El Presidente gave up his position as President and Prime Minister of Cuba, as well as First Secretary of Cuba's Communist Party, in 2008 in order to concentrate on his true love: Hollywood gossip reporting. Forming the rumor website Cubano Review, El Presidente built a name for himself based on over THREE DOZEN industry credited trade scoops. Unfortunately, capitalist American trade embargoes have rendered CubanoReview.com unreachable from within the United States, forcing El Presidente to syndicate his articles to The Outhouse, which flies under the radar of the American oligarchy thanks to most leaders assuming it is a scat porn site, which, to be fair, is basically true.

 


Abrams Seeks Tiny Nippled Tudors Star for Star Wars Episode 7?

Abrams Seeks Tiny Nippled Tudors Star for Star Wars Episode 7?

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on May 20, 2013

Rumor has it Jonathan Rhys Meyers is in talks to play an unknown character in Disney's Star Wars Episode 7.

Fictional Justice League Movie Steps Up Timetable

Fictional Justice League Movie Steps Up Timetable

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on May 17, 2013

The nonexistent movie will reportedly begin filming in early 2014 with Henry Cavill as Superman.

Jeremy Renner Out as Hawkeye?

Jeremy Renner Out as Hawkeye?

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on May 15, 2013

A new rumor suggests that Hawkeye may be recast in the Marvel Movieverse.

Jurassic Park 4 May Be On Hold or Even Canceled

Jurassic Park 4 May Be On Hold or Even Canceled

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on May 8, 2013

Ominous tweets from the Jurassic Park camp may indicate the movie has met a premature end.

Scoop! Marvel Considers Short List of Actors for Black Panther Movie!

Scoop! Marvel Considers Short List of Actors for Black Panther Movie!

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on May 1, 2013

Idris Elba, the Old Spice guy, Howard Mackie, Terence Howard, and Zoe Saldana are among the candidates! UPDATE: And Chadwick Boseman!

Lily James is Disney's Cinderella

Lily James is Disney's Cinderella

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on April 30, 2013

The Downton Abbey star will play Cinderella in the upcoming live action remake from Disney.

CubanoReview: Agent Coulson's Return Revealed, Gwyneth Paltrow's Hairy Iron Man Situation (Spoilers)

CubanoReview: Agent Coulson's Return Revealed, Gwyneth Paltrow's Hairy Iron Man Situation (Spoilers)

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on April 26, 2013

Did Marvel choose the most boring way possible to bring Agent Coulson back from the dead? Rumors say YES!

Fede Alavarez and Rodo Sayagues to Make Doctor Strange Movie for Marvel?

Fede Alavarez and Rodo Sayagues to Make Doctor Strange Movie for Marvel?

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on April 9, 2013

It is rumored that the Evil Dead director and writer are rumored to be working on a rumored Marvel project which is rumored to be Doctor Strange!

Kellan Lutz is a Very Sexy Hercules in Hercules 3D

Kellan Lutz is a Very Sexy Hercules in Hercules 3D

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on April 5, 2013

No, he didn't post a Cragislist add advertising that he speaks Greek! He's been cast as the mythic hero in Hercules 3D!

Constantine to Headline Del Toro's Justice League Dark Movie

Constantine to Headline Del Toro's Justice League Dark Movie

By El Presidente in News with Benefits on March 30, 2013

The family friendly star of DC's popular Constinatine comic book will be the main character in the upcoming film by Guillermo Del Toro.

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