Tuesday, July 17, 2018 • Morning Edition • "At least we're not The Comics Reporter!"

The Professor

The Professor is the sad clown of the Outhousers Team, unsure whether to laugh or cry. While he may not be an actual professor, we assure you he has a pile of useless degrees on par with any full-time slave of academia. With an unflinching nose for the stinking underbelly of the comic book industry, the Professor travels the country breaking imaginary news and avoiding creditors. A hobo philosopher at heart, Prof realizes all of his efforts mean nothing in the end, so why not have a laugh until then?


Relationship Enters 'Watch Every Episode of Doctor Who' Stage.

Relationship Enters 'Watch Every Episode of Doctor Who' Stage.

By The Professor in News with Benefits on November 6, 2015

There are six stages of intimacy in every relationship: Infatuation, Landing, Burying, Resurfacing, Love, and Watching All of Doctor Who.

Breaking: NaNoWriMo May Merge With Movember to Create 'Perfect Storm' of Insufferable People.

Breaking: NaNoWriMo May Merge With Movember to Create 'Perfect Storm' of Insufferable People.

By The Professor in News with Benefits on November 4, 2015

If you have a Facebook or Twitter feed, we advise seeking shelter immediately.

Tough New Head of Security Promises to Stop People From Breaking Into Comics.

Tough New Head of Security Promises to Stop People From Breaking Into Comics.

By The Professor in News with Benefits on November 3, 2015

The former Fort Knox Guard has installed a variety of security measures including laser beams, attack dogs, and even a moat to prevent aspiring creators from breaking in.

Modern-Day Nostradamus Always Knows What Will Happen on The Walking Dead.

Modern-Day Nostradamus Always Knows What Will Happen on The Walking Dead.

By The Professor in News with Benefits on November 2, 2015

One man's uncanny ability to predict key moments in the zombie survival series has left co-workers astonished and scratching their heads.

Outhousers Sunday Edition: Apple TV Aims to Bring Comics to Television

Outhousers Sunday Edition: Apple TV Aims to Bring Comics to Television

By The Professor in News with Benefits on November 1, 2015

Is Apple TV the future of comics?

Holy Bat-Rumors! Will the Next Solo Batman Film Feature Both the Red Hood & Nightwing?

Holy Bat-Rumors! Will the Next Solo Batman Film Feature Both the Red Hood & Nightwing?

By The Professor in News with Benefits on October 31, 2015

W-w-what!? Didn't we just have a talk about reporting on unsourced movie rumors?

Sam Raimi: I Have Several Choreographed Dance Numbers for Spider-Man Reboot If Marvel Needs Me.

Sam Raimi: I Have Several Choreographed Dance Numbers for Spider-Man Reboot If Marvel Needs Me.

By The Professor in News with Benefits on October 31, 2015

"Spider-Man must always be dancing; whether it's the cha-cha shuffle or simply just twerking, the character has a deep rhythm which cannot be contained by society," said Mr. Raimi.

Dan DiDio Vows to Catch Whoever Keeps Egging His House.

Dan DiDio Vows to Catch Whoever Keeps Egging His House.

By The Professor in News with Benefits on October 30, 2015

The Co-Publisher of DC Comics plans to spend all night in his bushes with a hose in case any neighborhood miscreants try to pull some 'funny stuff' again.

Even Superheroes Wear A Winter Coat Sometimes, Says Mom.

Even Superheroes Wear A Winter Coat Sometimes, Says Mom.

By The Professor in News with Benefits on October 29, 2015

The totally lame mom had no idea what she was talking about. Geez, come on!

Marvel Confirms 'Sexy Halloween Costume' Avengers Officially In Continuity.

Marvel Confirms 'Sexy Halloween Costume' Avengers Officially In Continuity.

By The Professor in News with Benefits on October 28, 2015

Marvel Editor-In-Chief Axel Alonso confirmed the sexy news at a joint press conference with media partner Party City.

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