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Ridiculous Marvel Cataclysm Press Release Causes Bloggers to Question Reality

The press release is so ridiculous, it has to be self-aware meta-humor.

Outhouse Declares January 30th Top Five Day

The Outhouse, swayed by Bleeding Cool's persuasive Top Five List, promises to make every article a Top Five article for the day.

Justice League Canada Renamed Justice League United After Poor Testing with Mooses

This article does not feature a comment from crack smoking Toronto mayor Rob Ford, but we figured we'd put his name here for some cheap Gawker hits.

Aquaman to Get Second Ongoing Series, Industry Collapse Imminent

The industry is poised to finally end after DC announced a second ongoing series featuring the man who talks to fish.

Get a First Look at X-Force #1... While You Still Can!

Hurry up and check out this unlettered preview before the series is rebooted and relaunched with a new #1 issue!

Painful Death Linked to Not Buying Terry Moore's Rachel Rising

A recently concluded study claims to conclusively link not buying Terry Moore's Rachel Rising to death by exploding genitalia and other horrific methods.

Top Scientist Warns LaBeouf Plagiarism Could Threaten Universe

The beleaguered actor's plagiarism, if left unchecked, could threaten the very fabric of reality.

Comics Media Mourns Casting of Joseph Gordon-Levitt in Sandman Movie

It's the end of an era as reporters will need to find another actor to speculate about being cast in every single comic book movie ever.

Comics Sales Dip in November; Industry Panics

Sales in November were down 18% from the previous month and 1% from November of last year! AAIIIIEEEEE!

Pope Named Time's 2013 Person of the Year

The cartoonist was named Time's Person of the Year after releasing Battling Boy.

All-New Marvel NOW 'Future' Teaser Is Greatest Work of Art of 21st Century

The art world has been turned upside down by the innovative masterpiece.

Agents of SHIELD Fails to Beat 50 Year Old Television Program in Ratings

Audiences preferred dated stop motion animation and voice acting to the ABC drama.

Doctor Who to Be Only Thing People Talk About By End of Week

Experts predict excitement for the 50th anniversary special of Doctor Who will lead to the British sci-fi show dominating all conversations by early friday morning.

Marvel Advises Readers to Get Tested

The company has apparently contracted an STD so disgusting it can be transmitted through comic books.

News From The Future: Geeks Now An Endangered Species: Lightsabers Invented

Self inflicted stupidity now 5th most common cause of death in the world