Thursday, January 29, 2015 • Midnight Edition • "Assholes welcome."

Satire

Did you bother to look at the tags before assuming this crazy story was straight news?

Concerned Brony Upset at Improper Body Proportions on My Little Pony Inflatable Sex Doll

Concerned Brony Upset at Improper Body Proportions on My Little Pony Inflatable Sex Doll

The pony-loving man is speaking out against the exploitation of his beloved cartoon characters.


James Gunn Shocker: Director Teases ThanosCopter for Marvel Movies

James Gunn Shocker: Director Teases ThanosCopter for Marvel Movies

The popular Outhouse reporter will apparently have a role in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Man Hospitalized After Injuring Neck to See Up Skirt of New DC Collectibles Statue

Man Hospitalized After Injuring Neck to See Up Skirt of New DC Collectibles Statue

The man is in stable condition, no thanks to the "Bombshells Batwoman" statue.

Marvel:

Marvel: "Future Comics to be Remotely Destructible"

Company will take lead in destroying your memories for you.

In State of the Union Address, President Obama Describes Plans for Bi-Partisan Leadership as

In State of the Union Address, President Obama Describes Plans for Bi-Partisan Leadership as "Like Two Pizzas Slapping Together"

At the second most anticipated media event of the day yesterday, President Obama delivered his address to Congress and the nation.

For Sale: Used John Byrne, Good Condition, Available Now!

For Sale: Used John Byrne, Good Condition, Available Now!

IDW has announced that they're having a John Byrne sale.

Could Charlie Hebdo's

Could Charlie Hebdo's "Baby Muhammad" Variant Cover Heal Wounds in Wake of Attacks?

The cover is so cute, it almost makes religious extremists want to stop killing people.

Top Five Suspects in Today's DDOS Attack on The Outhouse

Top Five Suspects in Today's DDOS Attack on The Outhouse

We just got back and we're already sowing the seeds of our next attack!

Advance Review: Star Wars #1 is The Best Comic I've Never Read

Advance Review: Star Wars #1 is The Best Comic I've Never Read

Marvel hasn't sent us a review copy of Star Wars #1, but that's not going to stop ol' Jude Terror from reviewing it!

Kill Your Idol: Assassination Classroom Vol. 1 Review

Kill Your Idol: Assassination Classroom Vol. 1 Review

These students are stuck with a world-destroying octopus monster for a teacher. Enough said.

Industry Shocker: Marvel to Eschew Vapid Gimmickry, Focus on Storytelling

Industry Shocker: Marvel to Eschew Vapid Gimmickry, Focus on Storytelling

At least, that's what we're guessing based on this latest teaser.


Toriyama's Return: Jaco the Galactic Patrolman Review

Toriyama's Return: Jaco the Galactic Patrolman Review

The creator of Dragon Ball Z brings us his first new serialized manga in more than ten years

RUMOR: The Cumberheir to Play Every Teen Comic Book Character in 15 Years

RUMOR: The Cumberheir to Play Every Teen Comic Book Character in 15 Years

The recently conceived child of Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter is already making headlines.

US Presidential Candidate Mark Doyle Hosts Major Summit

US Presidential Candidate Mark Doyle Hosts Major Summit

The presidential candidate and DC editor will host a summit this week to discuss major issues.

North Korean Hackers Strike Again, Deface Bleeding Cool's Website

North Korean Hackers Strike Again, Deface Bleeding Cool's Website

The attack left the popular website's design completely decimated.

DC Editor Mark Doyle Launches Presidential Campaign, Promises a Batman for Every Fan

DC Editor Mark Doyle Launches Presidential Campaign, Promises a Batman for Every Fan

The editor also promised a Robin in every pot, and a Batmobile in every garage.

BREAKING: DC Unveils Radical New Costume Designs for Justice League

BREAKING: DC Unveils Radical New Costume Designs for Justice League

The publisher is going for a wildly different direction for their biggest team.

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