Monday, August 3, 2015 • Morning Edition • "At least we're not Bleeding Cool!"

Satire

Did you bother to look at the tags before assuming this crazy story was straight news?
DC Comics Done With Reboots and Relaunches, Can Stop Any Time They Want

DC Comics Done With Reboots and Relaunches, Can Stop Any Time They Want

The company plans to focus on building the universe they have right now.

 'The Winds of Winter' Further Delayed as George R.R. Martin Abruptly Killed by Sharknado

'The Winds of Winter' Further Delayed as George R.R. Martin Abruptly Killed by Sharknado

The author was tragically killed Wednesday in a freak accident after being caught up in a Sharknado.

"Diverse" Casting of Baron Blitzkreig Results in Outrage Scandal for CW's Arrow

The casting of black actor Jimmy Akingbola as a traditionally white character caused no issues, but the removal of his Nazi heritage kicked off a wave of complaints.

George R. R. Martin Criticizes Marvel Movie Villains:

George R. R. Martin Criticizes Marvel Movie Villains: "Where's the Rape?!"

The Game of Thrones scribe was unable to understand how a character could be made a villain by any other means.

Trump in More Hot Water for Latest Round of Offensive Comments

Trump in More Hot Water for Latest Round of Offensive Comments

Seeking more negative attention, The Donald has shifted his focus to comic books and superhero movies.

Fans Who Haven't Torrented Game of Thrones Season Finale Yet Outraged by Spoilers on Website

Fans Who Haven't Torrented Game of Thrones Season Finale Yet Outraged by Spoilers on Website

If you haven't torrented the show yet, you probably shouldn't read this article.

Industry Veterans Vie for

Industry Veterans Vie for "Most Promising New Talent" Nominations in Next Year's Harvey Awards

Following a broadening of the requirements in this year's nomination process, previously ineligible creators are campaigning for next year's awards.

STUFF LIKE THAT EP #46: TRAILERS AND TOMORROWS

STUFF LIKE THAT EP #46: TRAILERS AND TOMORROWS

Comments on SDCC trailers and THE TOMORROWS #1.

SDCC: Poor Planning Results in Scalpers Devastated by Beast Incarnate BROCK LESNAR!!

SDCC: Poor Planning Results in Scalpers Devastated by Beast Incarnate BROCK LESNAR!!

Let this all be a lesson to those who plan to scalp exclusive figures at conventions. You might run into a wall. A wall named BROCK LESNAR.


Police Identify Suspect Stalking NJ Family Known as

Police Identify Suspect Stalking NJ Family Known as "The Watcher"

The first clue was that he signed his name to his threat.

Man in Coma Since 1999 Outraged by Double Take's $2.50 Price Point for Ultimate Night of the Living Dead Line

Man in Coma Since 1999 Outraged by Double Take's $2.50 Price Point for Ultimate Night of the Living Dead Line

The man can't believe comics have increased so much in price since he was last buying them.

REPORT: New Tenants Find Torture Room in DC's Old Offices

REPORT: New Tenants Find Torture Room in DC's Old Offices

Scenes of past horror were discovered in a secret chamber in DC's old New York headquarters.

REPORT: Woman Impregnated Just From Reading Savage Dragon Comic

REPORT: Woman Impregnated Just From Reading Savage Dragon Comic

The titular superhero is just so virile and manly that simply reading a book starring him can now result in pregnancy.

REPORT: Man Injured Trying to

REPORT: Man Injured Trying to "Jump On" Comic at Issue Not Designated as Official "Jumping On Point"

The tragedy should serve as a lesson to us all when it comes to trying to "jump on" to comics without checking whether or not the comic is a "good jumping on point."

Top Five Reasons All-New All-Different Marvel NOW! is *NOT* a Reboot

Top Five Reasons All-New All-Different Marvel NOW! is *NOT* a Reboot

We break it down and prove, without a shadow of a doubt, that Marvel is not rebooting its universe.

Marvel Staff in Revolt as Dan Slott Eats All Fruit in Office

Marvel Staff in Revolt as Dan Slott Eats All Fruit in Office

The "Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows" writer has claimed ownership of all fruit in the building after being given permission to write about a married Spider-Man.

DC Comics Split-Page Twix Ad Already Wildly Successful Thanks to Internet Outrage

DC Comics Split-Page Twix Ad Already Wildly Successful Thanks to Internet Outrage

The split-page ad may be the most lucrative revenue source for comics since the speculator boom of the 90s.

Warner Bros To Just Livestream Rest of Suicide Squad Filming

Warner Bros To Just Livestream Rest of Suicide Squad Filming

It will be more efficient than having hundreds of set photos hit the net every day.

Man Will Not Watch Third Season of Popular Show After Trailer Reveals Characters Will Be

Man Will Not Watch Third Season of Popular Show After Trailer Reveals Characters Will Be "Outside the Dome"

The new season of Under the Dome debuts next month, but a massive change may be in store for the series!

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