Wednesday, May 25, 2016 • Midnight Edition • "Magneto was right."

Satire

Did you bother to look at the tags before assuming this crazy story was straight news?
Obama Nominates Bill Jemas as New Supreme Court Judge

Obama Nominates Bill Jemas as New Supreme Court Judge

Jemas is interested in the Judge role, there may have been some confusion.

Man Breaks Up With Valentine After Disagreement Over Seeing Deadpool Movie

Man Breaks Up With Valentine After Disagreement Over Seeing Deadpool Movie

The man continued a 4 year streak of awful luck on the lovers' holiday this year.

Rob Liefeld Hoping Rob Liefeld Will Be Rob Liefeld's Valentine

Rob Liefeld Hoping Rob Liefeld Will Be Rob Liefeld's Valentine

It's a match made in heaven, or possibly some other place.

New Hampshire Primaries Bring Most Important Contest in American History to Forefront of Nation: U-DECIDE-2

New Hampshire Primaries Bring Most Important Contest in American History to Forefront of Nation: U-DECIDE-2

Learn how you can do your part to ensure the future of America, starting TONIGHT!

Sitcom Shocker: Big Bang Theory's Saga Joke is No Laughing Matter

Sitcom Shocker: Big Bang Theory's Saga Joke is No Laughing Matter

The popular sitcom referenced Vaughan and Staples' popular comic on a recent episode, but, more importantly, it implied that male nerds masturbate.

REPORT: Over 30 Titles Delayed Due to Twitter Updates

REPORT: Over 30 Titles Delayed Due to Twitter Updates

Guess that means we'll have to wait even longer for Image United.

Groundhog Day to Determine Fate of Failing Comic Book Industry

Groundhog Day to Determine Fate of Failing Comic Book Industry

We'll either have three more weeks before total collapse, or one more year.

Double Take Print Deadline in Jeopardy as Oregon Militia Standoff Continues

Double Take Print Deadline in Jeopardy as Oregon Militia Standoff Continues

The company relies on paper produced from trees from the wildlife refuge.

President Addresses Important Topics in Historic State of the Union

President Addresses Important Topics in Historic State of the Union

President Obama talked about the major issues facing the country in his speech in Washington last night, and laid out a plan for the future.

First Week of DC Superhero Writing Class Marred by Disruptive Student Behavior

First Week of DC Superhero Writing Class Marred by Disruptive Student Behavior

One student has been causing trouble for teacher Scott Snyder as DC attempts to groom its next crop of writers.

The Outhouse Presents: A Jemas Carol

The Outhouse Presents: A Jemas Carol

Celebrating what's truly important about Christmas: our advertising dollars


Comic Book Website Patents Mindwipe Technology to Protect EXXXCLUSIVE Content

Comic Book Website Patents Mindwipe Technology to Protect EXXXCLUSIVE Content

Readers will immediately forget about the hot, juicy exclusive story they just read, preventing them from copying it on other sites.

Thanksgiving Turkey Stuck on Head of DC Editor in Chief Starting to Stink, Says Co-workers

Thanksgiving Turkey Stuck on Head of DC Editor in Chief Starting to Stink, Says Co-workers

DC Comics staff are in revolt due to a holiday accident involving Bob Harras.

Report: Man Plans to Sacrifice Live Goat to Avoid Jessica Jones Spoilers

Report: Man Plans to Sacrifice Live Goat to Avoid Jessica Jones Spoilers

One man has gone to extreme lengths to avoid spoilers this weekend.

In Light of Recent Events, Captain America Decides Letter on Head Stands for France After All

In Light of Recent Events, Captain America Decides Letter on Head Stands for France After All

The Avengers leader made his shocking statement at a press conference this morning.

EXXXCLUSIVE: Frank Miller to Get Co-Writing Credit on All Double Take Comics From Now On

EXXXCLUSIVE: Frank Miller to Get Co-Writing Credit on All Double Take Comics From Now On

Capitalizing on DC Comics' blatant bait and switch with Dark Knight III, Double Take will boost sales with Miller's name for the foreseeable future.

Ninja Starship Podcast receives taste of Indie...host determines her as salty.

Ninja Starship Podcast receives taste of Indie...host determines her as salty.

I appeared on the Ninja Starship Podcast to talk some shit with Jimmy McKnight!

Relationship Enters 'Watch Every Episode of Doctor Who' Stage.

Relationship Enters 'Watch Every Episode of Doctor Who' Stage.

There are six stages of intimacy in every relationship: Infatuation, Landing, Burying, Resurfacing, Love, and Watching All of Doctor Who.

Breaking: NaNoWriMo May Merge With Movember to Create 'Perfect Storm' of Insufferable People.

Breaking: NaNoWriMo May Merge With Movember to Create 'Perfect Storm' of Insufferable People.

If you have a Facebook or Twitter feed, we advise seeking shelter immediately.

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