Thursday, December 18, 2014 • Midnight Edition • "At least we're not Bleeding Cool!"

Satire

Did you bother to look at the tags before assuming this crazy story was straight news?
Drama Alert: Tensions Flare Between CBR, Bleeding Cool Over CLiNT Cancelation

Drama Alert: Tensions Flare Between CBR, Bleeding Cool Over CLiNT Cancelation

The end of the British comics magazine was announced on American website Comic Book Resources.

Marvel Residents Brace for Universe to Change Forever With Infinity #1

Marvel Residents Brace for Universe to Change Forever With Infinity #1

The weary fictional people who reside in Marvel's comic book universe have no choice but to begrudgingly accept their fate.

Reporter to Rig Results of Mind MGMT Contest

Reporter to Rig Results of Mind MGMT Contest

The reporter hopes to discourage anyone else from entering the contest so that he can keep the prize for himself.

Groot to be Retooled as Ex-Con Street Racer for Guardians of the Galaxy Movie

Groot to be Retooled as Ex-Con Street Racer for Guardians of the Galaxy Movie

Instead of a talking tree, the character will be a bald, tattooed, street racing bandit.

Outhouse Scrambles to Keep Counter Running After Week of Record Stupidity

Outhouse Scrambles to Keep Counter Running After Week of Record Stupidity

After a week of constant updates to the Has DC Done Something Stupid Today Counter, Outhouse staff are struggling to keep the counter in working order.

Friends Concerned for Betty After Sexy New Archie Variant Cover

Friends Concerned for Betty After Sexy New Archie Variant Cover

The all ages comic book star poses in a very revealing outfit on the variant cover for Afterlife with Archie #1.

Scottish Actor Named as Next Star of British TV Show

Scottish Actor Named as Next Star of British TV Show

The award winning actor will be the twelfth to play the lead role on the longtime British science fiction series.

Bat!@#$ Crazy Batman Casting Rumors - Brolin, Butler, Caviezel!

Bat!@#$ Crazy Batman Casting Rumors - Brolin, Butler, Caviezel!

Rumor sites are churning out Superman vs. Batman casting rumors like nuts! Frank Miller! Josh Brolin! Gerard Butler! JGL in a fake beard!

Grant Morrison Stunned by Positive Reaction to Batman Inc. Finale

Grant Morrison Stunned by Positive Reaction to Batman Inc. Finale

After stating in an interview that fans would hate the ending to the series, the creator was stunned that fans are enjoying the book.

Fox Spreads Computer Virus to Promote X-Men: Days of Future Past

Fox Spreads Computer Virus to Promote X-Men: Days of Future Past

We understand that Fox wants the movie to be successful, but cyber-terrorism is taking things too far.

The Wolverine Box Office Threatens to Expose Comics Industry Secrets

The Wolverine Box Office Threatens to Expose Comics Industry Secrets

The movie took in $55 million dollars this weekend, causing some to ask whether people are getting sick of Wolverine.

Outhouse Announces Article About Article Announcing Debut of Future Thor Trailer

Outhouse Announces Article About Article Announcing Debut of Future Thor Trailer

The Outhouse will publish an article next week about today's article announcing the premiere of an advertisement in two weeks for a movie that comes out in November.

Virgin Disappointed by Quality Storytelling in Aspen's Fathom #1

Virgin Disappointed by Quality Storytelling in Aspen's Fathom #1

Expecting titillating cheesecake, the man was upset to find a compelling story and perfect jumping on point for new readers.

Marvel Congratulates Its Own Eisner Award Winners, Snubs Everyone Else

Marvel Congratulates Its Own Eisner Award Winners, Snubs Everyone Else

In a press release claiming to "congratulate Eisner Awards winners," Marvel really only named their own books.

SDCC: Disney and Marvel to Encourage Abstinence by Producing Angela Chastity Belts for Kids

SDCC: Disney and Marvel to Encourage Abstinence by Producing Angela Chastity Belts for Kids

Disney and Marvel will promote teen celibacy with oversized belts like Angela from Guardians of the Galaxy.

Comic Con Officially Opens With Rousing Commencement Speech

Comic Con Officially Opens With Rousing Commencement Speech

What, you thought that just because we've been publishing articles tagged SDCC for the past three days, the convention had started already?

SDCC: Dynamite Defies Industry Norms with All Female Written Red Sonja Book

SDCC: Dynamite Defies Industry Norms with All Female Written Red Sonja Book

Rest of industry shocked to learn that there can be more than three women writers in comics at one time.

SDCC: Dynamite Hires Known Necrophiliac to Star in Comic

SDCC: Dynamite Hires Known Necrophiliac to Star in Comic

Alice Cooper, who confessed to having sex with a dead body in 1975, has been hired to star in a new comic by Dynamite Entertainment.

Pacific Rim: At Least It's Not the Lone Ranger

Pacific Rim: At Least It's Not the Lone Ranger

Legendary Pictures executives try to look on the bright side following an underperforming opening for Pacific Rim.

Polyjuice Potion Real: J.K. Rowling becomes Robert Galbraith

Polyjuice Potion Real: J.K. Rowling becomes Robert Galbraith

J.K. Rowling secretly published a new book! (Updated)

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