Tuesday, August 4, 2015 • Evening Edition • "70 slogans - collect 'em all!"

Satire

Did you bother to look at the tags before assuming this crazy story was straight news?
REPORT: George RR Martin Evilly Laughs for Full Two Minutes At Panera

REPORT: George RR Martin Evilly Laughs for Full Two Minutes At Panera

An employee had reportedly told the popular fantasy writer who his favorite Game of Thrones character was.

BREAKING: Marvel Receives Permission to Use Spider-Man Characters in Agents of SHIELD, But Only the Crappy Ones and Only One Per Season

BREAKING: Marvel Receives Permission to Use Spider-Man Characters in Agents of SHIELD, But Only the Crappy Ones and Only One Per Season

Soon Hypno-Hustler, the Mindworm and the dude who molested Peter as a kid will make their way to Agents of SHIELD.

Top Five Long Shot Possibilities for Marvel's Next Big Announcement on The View Tomorrow

Top Five Long Shot Possibilities for Marvel's Next Big Announcement on The View Tomorrow

The company plans to make a "forceful" announcement on the daytime talk show, but what if they've got something unexpected in mind?!

Exclusive: First Good Look at Powered Up Human Torch in Fantastic Four Reboot Revealed During Super Bowl Halftime Show

Exclusive: First Good Look at Powered Up Human Torch in Fantastic Four Reboot Revealed During Super Bowl Halftime Show

The first look at Michael B. Jordan after "flaming on" is not what most fans were expecting.

BREAKING: Punxsutawney Phil Sees Shadow, Means Six More Years 'Til Release of

BREAKING: Punxsutawney Phil Sees Shadow, Means Six More Years 'Til Release of "Winds of Winter"

The groundhog confirmed that George R. R. Martin's next book won't be released until 2021.



Concerned Brony Upset at Improper Body Proportions on My Little Pony Inflatable Sex Doll

Concerned Brony Upset at Improper Body Proportions on My Little Pony Inflatable Sex Doll

The pony-loving man is speaking out against the exploitation of his beloved cartoon characters.


James Gunn Shocker: Director Teases ThanosCopter for Marvel Movies

James Gunn Shocker: Director Teases ThanosCopter for Marvel Movies

The popular Outhouse reporter will apparently have a role in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Man Hospitalized After Injuring Neck to See Up Skirt of New DC Collectibles Statue

Man Hospitalized After Injuring Neck to See Up Skirt of New DC Collectibles Statue

The man is in stable condition, no thanks to the "Bombshells Batwoman" statue.

Marvel:

Marvel: "Future Comics to be Remotely Destructible"

Company will take lead in destroying your memories for you.

In State of the Union Address, President Obama Describes Plans for Bi-Partisan Leadership as

In State of the Union Address, President Obama Describes Plans for Bi-Partisan Leadership as "Like Two Pizzas Slapping Together"

At the second most anticipated media event of the day yesterday, President Obama delivered his address to Congress and the nation.

For Sale: Used John Byrne, Good Condition, Available Now!

For Sale: Used John Byrne, Good Condition, Available Now!

IDW has announced that they're having a John Byrne sale.

Could Charlie Hebdo's

Could Charlie Hebdo's "Baby Muhammad" Variant Cover Heal Wounds in Wake of Attacks?

The cover is so cute, it almost makes religious extremists want to stop killing people.

Top Five Suspects in Today's DDOS Attack on The Outhouse

Top Five Suspects in Today's DDOS Attack on The Outhouse

We just got back and we're already sowing the seeds of our next attack!

Advance Review: Star Wars #1 is The Best Comic I've Never Read

Advance Review: Star Wars #1 is The Best Comic I've Never Read

Marvel hasn't sent us a review copy of Star Wars #1, but that's not going to stop ol' Jude Terror from reviewing it!

Kill Your Idol: Assassination Classroom Vol. 1 Review

Kill Your Idol: Assassination Classroom Vol. 1 Review

These students are stuck with a world-destroying octopus monster for a teacher. Enough said.

Industry Shocker: Marvel to Eschew Vapid Gimmickry, Focus on Storytelling

Industry Shocker: Marvel to Eschew Vapid Gimmickry, Focus on Storytelling

At least, that's what we're guessing based on this latest teaser.


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