Over at Bleeding Cool today, Rich Johnston posted a love letter to DC Comics Co-Publisher Dan Didio, which is itself in response to Twitter users who have been trying to get the hashtag #FireDidio trending. Though Johnston, like The Outhouse, has no problems calling DC out when they screw up, he seems to feel that the calls to get Dan the Man fired are taking things a little too far. He defends Dan's performance at DC as the only thing keeping its entire creative staff employed, and suggests that without Dan, the entire division would close down, its characters would be licensed out to Cambodian sweatshops, Uncle Billy would be in an insane asylum, and Harry would be dead since Dan wouldn't be there to save him from drowning. If Johnston is right, readers in a post-Didio world might soon be wishing they could take it all back.
We asked Rich for comment on his claims, but he was too busy singing to himself and refused to answer.
"Rich and Dan, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G," chirped Johnston as he carefully doodled hearts around Didio's name on his Trapper Keeper. "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Richie in the baby carriage. Pip pip!"
Here at The Outhouse, we never miss an opportunity to rip off one of Bleeding Cool's ideas and make it better, so we've compiled a list of the top 5.2 reasons Dan Didio should not be fired. Here they are:
1. He could be replaced by someone worse! Before Didio was Co-Publisher, he was Editor in Chief. DC's current Editor in Chief is Bob Harras. Do the math, people! Does anyone want to see Harras move up in the ranks? Dan Didio is the only thing standing between Bob Harras and the complete implosion of the comics industry, 90s style. He must stand firm, for the good of us all!
2. "Didio" lends itself to so many puns. Dan Dildo. The Didiot. Darth Didius. Fandom has been perfecting derogatory puns on Didio's name for over a decade now. Do you want all that work to go to waste? Do you want to start over at square one? What are we gonna go with? Geoff Jerkface? Let's not throw the baby out with the bath water, people.
3. We really like all the unique hits he brings us. Seriously, since The Outhouse became the de facto place to go to find out how DC has hilariously embarrassed themselves in public, we've been riding high on an unprecedented wave of web traffic, and the rest of the comics media, as much as they like to pretend they're above it all, has been doing the same. Do you want that to all go away? Do you want to end a creative renaissance for the comics blogosphere just to satisfy your thirst for vengeance?
Nevermind Dan's livelihood… think about the bloggers! We'd have nothing to write about. Do you really want us to have to bring back Idiot's Guide Weekly?
4. The old DCU ain't coming back. No matter how much you wish for it, DCE is not going to come around, two years later, 'admit' they were wrong, put things back to the way they were. Sales-wise, the reboot has been a success, and, in fact, reboots in general are a standard practice in the entertainment industry. You see the same kind of thinking about iconic characters and the 'illusion of change' at Marvel as well, and it reflects the attitude of pretty much all corporate intellectual property owners in the age of cross-branding and global marketing. Warner Bros. is not going to change their minds to suit the whims of a relatively small readership. There's much more money to made in movies and TV, and the Batman franchise alone has been rebooted, what… four times now?
If you want to get rid of Dan because you think it'll bring back all that lost continuity you miss so much, you're going to end up very disappointed.
5. Just look at that face. Look at it!
Isn't he so cute? He's a cute Didio. Yes he is! Yes he is! You wouldn't want to see a sad Didio, would you? Would you?!
Awwww! Nobody wants to see that. Keep Dan around, and you'll keep Dan happy.
5.1 The Didio regime ushered in the convention of 5.2 lists on the DC Blog. Before that, we would have had to come up with 10 reasons not to fire Didio, and, let's face it, that would have been a stretch. Thanks to Dan's arithmomaniac obsession with the number 52, there are three less reasons we need to come up with to make this list, and for that alone, Didio deserves to stay.
5.2 How much of this is really Dan's fault, anyway? Dan's job as Co-Publisher is to make sure that DC makes money publishing comics. Geoff Johns is the Chief Creative Officer. If you don't like the direction of the comics, shouldn't it be Johns we're all bitching about on the Twitter. Either way, it's beside the point. We doubt the blame for DC can be laid at the feet of any one person.
More likely than not, the editorial clusterfuck at DC is the result of a managerial clusterfuck at Warner Bros., and if heads haven't rolled yet, what makes anyone think they're going to now? If DC's parent company wasn't happy with the performance of DC after all this time, they would have changed things up by now. Instead, when DCE was formed, everyone in the current regime got a promotion, and they added Bob freaking Harras to boot.
Dan and the Gang are producing is exactly what WB is looking for, which in turn means that anyone brought on to replace Dan would be expected to implement those same strategies. Things would be unlikely to get any better. At least Dan seems to genuinely like comics, and seems like a fairly good-natured guy when he's not completely blowing it on Twitter.
Better the devil you know, and all that...