Before we begin, I would like to apologize for the lack of review last week. I was too busy re-watching the latest episode of South Park and laughing hysterically. On to the review!
I was seriously concerned that two of the feisty young witches at Miss Robichaux's might be lost in the same week. Whatever happened with Queenie (I fast forwarded when I watched “The Replacements”) has left her near death, and the journey to her own room takes her all the way to the other side. Fiona uses her Supreme powers to bring Queenie back from the dead, seeing as Zoe wasn't around to administer the kiss of life. No one at Miss Robichaux's seems to notice how Zoe keeps disappearing to deal with Kyle, but then again Cordelia doesn't have the strictest rules for her girls. LaLaurie takes the opportunity to thank Queenie for saving her life, but Queenie is less than receptive. I'm amazed how Bates is making LaLaurie so sympathetic when I know the horrific things that she did.
There are myriad reasons why the red-headed Myrtle Snow (Frances Conroy), representative of the Council, should show up on the steps of the coven's boarding school. Just ask Cordelia, as she spills one secret after another to them before Fiona shuts her up. (It was a nice callback to the second episode interrogation scene.) But the main reason is Madison's disappearance – Nan can't hear her thoughts anymore, and calls the council for help. The Council interrogates everyone in the house, but the best line naturally comes from Queenie guessing what happened to Madison: “If she's dead, it's probably because she got wasted and offered the Grim Reaper a hand job or something.”
Fiona is included in the interrogations. Flashback to 1971, in the aftermath of her murder of Anna Lee (the last Supreme), when Myrtle was certain she had done it. Driven by jealousy and a need for justice, she enchanted the tongue of Spalding (Denis O'Hare) to only speak the truth. Out of love for Fiona, he cut out his own tongue. Forty years later, he writes for the council that Myrtle was the one who caused him to cut out his own tongue. Spalding has gone round the bend though. Not only does he have dolly tea parties, but he also has Madison's corpse dressed down and propped up in his attic room. So that's nice.
Fiona killed Madison for nothing, however. Cordelia reminds those listening that the Supreme is born with glowing health and no defects, and reveals that Madison had a heart murmur. I'm not sure Fiona entirely regrets her actions, especially since she got away with them. Delia and Fiona go to a bar, where Fiona outright lies about killing Madison because she wants Delia to tell her which of the students she thinks is the next Supreme. Guess she's planning on murdering again. I mean, it should be obvious at this point, right? Zoe is the only one without any health problems, it has to be her.
In the course of their drinking game, Fiona points out that Cordelia's husband is just the worst. She's not wrong. Good ol' Hank hooks up with internet girlfriends while on “business trips” and then murders them. Is he like possessed by the devil? Does everyone on this show solve their problems with violence? The girl of the week was guest star Alexandra Breckenridge, who you might remember as the slutty maid from season 1. This would have been perfect if Dylan McDermott had been available to play the cheating husband.
In all of this hubbub, you might have forgotten that Fiona retaliated against Marie Laveau. She sends her the head of the still-living minotaur (which why won't any of them freaking call it that?). As an aside, Marie Laveau is super sympathetic. In the opening flashback to 1961, she uses voodoo and zombies to kill three racists for lynching a young African-American boy who dared to go to an integrated school. It's clearly communicated that she is protective of her community. However, right now girlfriend is pissed and raises an army of zombies to attack the coven. The first three zombies to arrive at the school are LaLaurie's daughters, coming to the door while she passes out candy to trick-or-treaters. The poor, hot neighbor shows up with cookies for Nan just as the zombies arrive. Guess he's going to find out they're witches now!
I'm still a little amazed at the quality of this season. I didn't watch season 2 because asylums don't do it for me in the horror department, but I doubt it was this good. There is more humor and humanity in this season than in previous ones. It's a shame that Jessica Lange will be leaving any and all iterations of American Horror Story after this season – she was just starting to grow on me.
Next week: Zombie fight!