Written by J.M. Hunter
on Wednesday, November 06 2013 and posted in ZineSmiths
Our very own Strict is back with his unique particular brand of rants and interesting insights of the intricacies around him! Agree with him? Want to debate him? Never thought of it that way before? Ahhh I see what you mean! All of that and a bad ass bag of Strict!
I don't get candy corn...
I mean, I could go to the store and physically "get" it, but I don't get it. And frankly, I don't want to. It's called candy corn, right? But it doesn't in any way look like corn,
and I'm thinking it's only marginally classified as candy,
because that shit has never once stopped being nasty.
Candy corn is like that consolation prize in a TV game show. When you were a kid and you opened your bag of candy on Halloween to find candy corn, you probably said "FUCK" for the first time. Forcing a kid to eat candy corn is like child abuse, because it produces the same psychological reaction as being slapped in the mouth.
So why is candy corn even a thing? Who is the first guy who said those two things need to be combined into a thing?
It could just as easily have been candy brussel sprouts, people. Or candy carrots. What about candy peas? Well...probably not, because that sounds weird. But it couldn't be any worse than candy corn.
Next year at Halloween, take a stand against candy corn. Change starts with you, America.
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