In a move that sent a wave of excitement and confusion rippling through three people in rural Minnesota who still think death in comics is a something that lasts more than a few months, DC Comics announced a new series, set in a "possible future which may never be," which sees deceased character Damian Wayne taking over the mantle of Batman. Andy Kubert is writing and drawing the four issue miniseries, titled Damian: Son of Batman: Maybe: Or Maybe Not: It Really Depends: You Know What, Screw It, Definitely: Then Again, No.
When asked how the series fits in with the Legion and Batman Beyond futures, both of which also appear in comics, a DC representative said "Shut up, nerds. It's comics, you're not supposed to overthink these things."
Within ten minutes, the representative's statement had been overthought by thousands of bloggers and message board posters. But according to one DC executive, maybe things aren't as complicated as they seem.
"It's possible that Damian is both dead AND alive at the same time," said DC Editor in Chief Bob Harras, who had just finished watching all three Back to the Future movies while researching ways to justify DC's disjointed publishing strategy. "I mean, when 2015 Biff Tannen took the Delorean back to 1955 to give 1955 Biff the Sports Almanac, he created an alternate 1985 with a completely different timeline of events, which seemed completely natural to the people living in it. Maybe Andy Kubert is like 2015 Biff, Batman is like Doc Brown, Damian is Einstein, and I'm Marty McFly."
"This is heavy," Harras elaborated, before donning a pair of self-lacing Nike sneakers and playing a wicked guitar solo.