Michael Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie has suffered a lot of setbacks. First it was announced that Bay was directing the film, the first strike against it. Next, it was revealed that the turtles would no longer be mutants, but rather aliens. Then it was announced that that was fucking stupid, and they went back to the regular concept. Then it was revealed that Megan Fox had made nice with Bay after previously comparing him to Hitler (which is actually apt if you consider his genocidal campaign against quality filmmaking, but that's not why she said it), and would be starring in the film as April O'Neil. Also, the movie was pushed back once, from December of this year to June 2014, and now it has been pushed back again, to August 8, 2014, causing fears that the movie might be a giant clusterfuck amongst the roughly four or five people that didn't already assume that it would be.
"We're a professional movie company that is in the business of producing movies," reassured a spokesman for Paramount Pictures. "We know that a lot of people have been wondering if maybe we were really just a bunch of escaped laboratory monkeys that somehow got their cursed paws on the reigns of a major entertainment conglomerate, but nope, we actually do this for a living."
In other news, AICN announced that they've pushed back the updating of their 1995 website design to never.
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