Kick-Ass 2 made $13.5 million at the North American box office this past weekend, putting in at an abysmal fourth place for its opening weekend debut. The ultra-violent follow-up made an additional $6 million overseas, but that money doesn't count because it's all rainbow colored and has currency names you might find in something like a Legend of Zelda video game. Kick-Ass was defeated by Elysium, We're the Millers, and Lee Daniels' The Butler, a film about an African American butler who works in the White House and helps to cover up JFK's secret identity as Batman. What? Oh, sorry, it's actually a boring ass non-fiction movie starring Oprah Winfrey. Damn, Kick-Ass. Tell us how Oprah's ass tastes.
In response to the stunning defeat, Kick-Ass comic book creator Mark Millar announced plans to make the next Kick-Ass more competive in today's marketplace.
"We're gonnae hae Oprah Winfrey in th' next movie," said a determined Millar. "Ah cannae hae mah reputation as a bloke fa writes comics solely fur th' purpose ay turnin' them intae movie pitches damaged by th' fact 'at those movies bomb. It's time tae add anither trick tae mah poke, which will brin' mah grain total number ay tricks up tae tois."