When discussing the sensitive issue of sexiness in comic books, males have always had a distinct disadvantage. While female characters are almost always depicted as paragons of attractiveness, complete with enormous chests, 0% body fat and fully rotateable torsos, men don't have it quite so easy. More often than not, they're depicted as beefy, muscle bound freaks that women wouldn't want to touch with a fifteen foot pole. It's a terrible double standard for men who just want to be objectified in comic books.
Well, DC has finally given us an answer. Meet the new Lobo, described by Bob Harras as a "lean, mean killing machine."
Designed by Kenneth Roccafort, this new Lobo is all stud and sexiness. Rather than riding a motorcycle and hunting bounties, we imagine this Lobo prefers to read Laurell K. Hamilton vampire erotica novels in his room with all the shades drawn while burning incense. He's got the biceps of a man who knows his way around the bedroom, style that rivals Ralph Lauren's, and windblown hair that makes me a little weak in the knees.
Obviously, most men were thrilled at the change. "Boom," said Josh Franson, a bro from New Hampshire. "Now my girlfriend can't complain about why I'm reading comics about half-naked chicks. Look at this guy. I kind of want to sleep with him."
"Alllllllright," added Caleb Borowitz, a college lacrosse player. "That Lobo totally looks like the sort of guy I can get behind. Dude's got enough style for both the guys and the ladies."
"He gonna git it!" proclaimed TJ, a lecher.
While men across the nation were celebrating that their gender finally has a sexy representative in comics, there were some who didn't like the change. "I'm not a fan of..." began Ralph Mato, a Lobo fan, but we stopped listening because...well he's a fan of Lobo and no one cares what they think.
Luckily, writer Marguerite Bennett assured everyone that the Lobo is a lot "bigger and uglier" in the comic than the final design suggests. Hopefully, not too much uglier. Comics could use a bit more eye candy.