Fans were shocked and disgusted Thursday afternoon after a press event celebrating the two year anniversary of DC Comics New 52 showcased outrageous behavior from DC executives Dan Didio and Bob Harras. The celebration started off innocently enough, with Dan Didio taking the stage at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York to thank fans for supporting the reboot and helping to make it a success. He showed some slides on a big projector screen hyping September's Villain's Month, a gimmicky clusterfuck of 3D variant covers that rivals the original reboot in September, 2011 in terms of brazen, short-sighted greed.
After the self-aggrandizement was finished, Didio introduced the rest of DC's executive team: Co-Publisher Jim Lee, Chief Creative Officer Geoff Johns, and Editor in Chief Bob Harras. The group then entered a Q session, which Harras described as being "like a Q&A session, except we won't answer of the questions, so it's just Q." The execs dodged dozens of very interesting fan questions, including questions about their shoddy treatment of creators, editorial interference, cheap marketing gimmicks, and mistreatment of minority characters.
When that was done, the lights went out and the execs went into a musical performance, singing a medley of popular songs from the past two years to represent everything that's happened since the DCU rebooted in September, 2011. The whole thing culminated in a duet between Didio and Harras of Robin Thicke's hit song of the summer, Blurred Lines.
"It was simultaneously the most hilarious and most disgusting thing I've ever seen," said Catherine McHugh, a fan who attended the event and who now has a blank stare in her eyes like a PTSD victim. "Whenever I hear the song now, I start violently throwing up."
Just then, a car passed by blaring the song loudly from its stereo.
"Incoming!" McHugh shouted, diving behind some trash cans for cover.
How could a simple musical performance have caused such damage? To answer that, we'll have to look back at the event.
"That's why I'm gonna take a good girl," crooned Didio, dressed in a black and white striped suit as he belted out his own version of the already misogynistic lyrics which seemed to focus on 'toxic' characters Stephanie Brown and Cassandra Cain. "You know you want it. You know you want it."
"What do they make dreams for?" sang Didio as an image of Barbara Gordon flashed on the screen behind him. "When you got that cowl on, what do we need Steph for? You're the hottest b**** in this place."
It was crude and uncalled for, and extremely offensive, not only to women, but to music and comics fans everywhere. However, Didio's surprisingly on-key rendition was nowhere near the most shocking part of the event. It was Harras, who stripped down to a tight, flesh toned bikini and performed a sexual dance called Twerking as Didio sang, that had fans vomiting in their seats.
"I'm legally blind after watching that," said John Shipe, another fan in attendance at the event who had large, bloody bandages covering his eyes. "It was just too much. When Harras started shaking and grinding on Didio, I took my thumbs and just gouged my eyes out."
"I don't regret it," he told us, lifting the bandages to show us the gruesome holes where his eyes once were. "Not as much as I would have regretted seeing Harras Twerk."
As of press time, DC had not responded to inquiries about the controversy, most of which were phrased something like "what the fuck were you thinking?!" Nevertheless, The Outhouse has obtained exclusive footage of the event, which you can view below, though we recommend you don't, because it is truly shocking and revolting.
Are you sure?
Don't say we didn't warn you.