As you undoubtedly know from the growing amount of talk about Doctor Who popping up in your RSS feed, your favorite blogs, and social media, the popular British sci-fi television show is celebrating its 50th anniversary this weekend. Between anticipation for Saturday's Day of the Doctor special, fanfare, posters, trailers, minisodes, rumors of lost episodes, and just in general everyone blathering on and on about how much they love the show or posting memes about it on Facebook, talk about Doctor Who has reached an all time high. So high, some experts claim, that soon, no one will be able to talk about anything else.
"We've been carefully compiling data and looking at trends," explained Professor Thaddeus T. Puffinbottoms, head of the Geek Interest department at the prestigious University of Phoenix, "and we can conclusively say that by precisely 9:46AM Greenwich Time on Friday morning, Doctor Who will have pushed out all other topics of conversation everywhere and be the only thing that anyone talks, writes, tweets, or thinks about."
Pointing to some complicated graphs and charts, the professor went on to show us that Doctor Who had already reached critical mass, surpassing all other topics of conversation as of midday on November 19th, exactly as The Outhouse published its seventeenth consecutive article discussing the Doctor Who Missing Episodes Omnirumor. "At that point, the end result was inevitable, and all interactions between people, both in person or online, were destined to eventually center solely and exclusively around Doctor Who."
Puffinbottoms told The Outhouse that, while it was likely that frequency of Doctor Who discussion could begin to fade out following the airing of the Day of the Doctor special on Saturday, it was not outside the realm of possibility that things might not return to normal and people would continue discussing it endlessly. "In that case," he theorized, "we may just need to just hold out until Downton Abbey begins airing season four in America on January 5th."
Oh, good lord! Hope for the best, dear readers, but prepare for the worst.
Editor's Note: Jude Terror has never seen a single episode of Doctor Who and has no clue what all the fuss is about. The idiot!