A day after announcing that Game of Thrones reached a surprisingly small amount of viewers, HBO announced that it had renewed the series for another two years. Sunday's season premiere was the most watched show on HBO in nearly a decade, which meant that it had about as many viewers as a rerun of The Big Bang Theory or a new episode of Fox's Bones.
While HBO declined to comment for this article, CBS executive Les Moonves was nonplussed by the news. "I guess it did okay," Moonves said while wearing his signature moonvest. "I mean, it barely had more viewers than Marvel's Agents of BORING, but I guess we should cut it a little bit of slack since they charge people $120 a year to watch their station."
The CBS executive blamed the premiere's low numbers on the show's unwillingness to kill off main characters. "Maybe if they had killed off a mother like How I Met Your Mother did, we would have gotten twice as many viewers. But all HBO wants to do is show tits and have a little girl stab a dude in the throat. Like that can compare to the drama of the 300th episode of CSI: New Jersey."
Moonves settled back into his chair. "If I were in charge, I would have inserted a laugh track for all of Theon's scenes," he said. "That would get the ratings up. And I also probably would have seen if Ice Cube would have been available to play Bran Stark this season. People love a non-threatening former rapper play a major role in their stations."
Still, Moonves was glad that HBO had renewed the series for two more years. "Less competition for CBS," he said. "I mean, could you imagine if HBO ever tried their hand at a detective show? We'd be out of business in a week!"