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Fictional Justice League Movie Steps Up Timetable

Written by El Presidente on Friday, May 17 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

Fictional Justice League Movie Steps Up Timetable

The nonexistent movie will reportedly begin filming in early 2014 with Henry Cavill as Superman.


Source: Cosmic Book News

El Presidente here, reporting from inside the ladies bathroom at DC Comics. Why? No one will ever find me in here! They have no female employees except Gail Simone, and rumor has it she was born without a butthole!

Our comrades over at Cosmic Book News are reporting that a source deep inside DC Entertainment is feeding them information about the upcoming Justice League movie, which The Outhouse and CubanoReview revealed last year is never actually going to be produced, and is in fact a complete fabrication built upon piles and and piles of wishful internet speculation. According to this totally real and not made-up source, DC has moved the principle photography for the movie up to early 2014. In addition, Henry Cavill is a lock to play Superman in the film.

Comrades, I applaud Cosmic Book News for their brazen and shameless pursuit of "the scoop." Hollywood is about keeping score, as that paranoid poser El Mayimbe over at the inferior Latino-themed Hollywood gossip site, Latino-Review, is always saying, and Cosmic Book News knows that the scoop is way more important than silly things like getting the facts right and reporting on a movie that actually exists. Facts don't bring in the unique hits, baby.

Over at CBN, studs like editor Matt McGloin are clearly suffering from scoop diarrhea. Just for the hell of it, they dropped some Green Lantern scoops as well, claiming that Joseph Kosinksi is being looked at to direct, and dreamboat Ryan Reynolds will be returning as Green Lantern. Ay Carumba! I'm going to head down to the bunker underneath the Presidential Palace, because another Ryan Reynolds Green Lantern movie will be an even bigger bomb than the first one!

Though I do appreciate Cosmic Book News' huge cahones, I have to tell you, comrades, take these rumors with a grain of salt. These kind of leaks are often not right, and even if they are totally legit, DC Entertainment will change its mind about what it's having for lunch five times before noon tomorrow, so movie plans eight months from now for DC are about as solid as my bowel movements after a double helping of delicious boliche.






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About the Author - El Presidente


El Presidente gave up his position as President and Prime Minister of Cuba, as well as First Secretary of Cuba's Communist Party, in 2008 in order to concentrate on his true love: Hollywood gossip reporting. Forming the rumor website Cubano Review, El Presidente built a name for himself based on over THREE DOZEN industry credited trade scoops. Unfortunately, capitalist American trade embargoes have rendered CubanoReview.com unreachable from within the United States, forcing El Presidente to syndicate his articles to The Outhouse, which flies under the radar of the American oligarchy thanks to most leaders assuming it is a scat porn site, which, to be fair, is basically true.

 


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